Every year before vacation, I sit down and decide on what books will be my beach reads. Last year I finally read the Hunger Games trilogy after being excruciatingly late to that party. The year before it was Tina Fey's Bossy Pants and Russell Brand's Booky Wook (I was in a memoir mood, I guess). This year's choice was a little more reflective of my current situation.
I had downloaded Bringing Up Bébé on my Kindle last August and only found time to read a chapter of it. I realized that, with a 1 year old in tow, this year would not have a lot of time for leisurely beach reading, so I might as well finish what I had, especially since it pertained to raising a child, which I currently find myself doing.
The book takes a look at the American style of parenting next to the French style of parenting the author witnesses upon moving to France with her husband and infant daughter. While such comparisons can be controversial — one is seen as "right" and the other "wrong" — Druckerman does a good job of avoiding that. At first, she isn't even sure she likes living in France, and she questions some of the parenting tactics she witnesses and slowly warms to them, so she's not obsessed with French culture and unfairly biased.
I haven't read many (OK, any) parenting books because I view them as too psychological, touchy-feely, and judgmental, developing my method from trial and error, asking others, and Googling (always a quality choice). And while Bébé is more of a book about parenting rather than a parenting book, I found this one entertaining to read and thought provoking as well.
One of my favorite ideas presented was the cadre, or framework, approach to parenting that the French parents Druckerman observes use. The French create a strict framework inside of which the child has freedom. She gives the example of her friend who implements a strict 8:30 bedtime for her children, but they are free to play, read, or do whatever in their room after that time but must stay in their rooms. After a while, the child will put himself to bed because he's tired. It gives the child an opportunity to play an active role in obeying.
I especially loved the chapter about food and how to help our kids learn to enjoy a wide range of flavors, explaining that children's demands for a diet only of white pasta, ketchup, and chicken tenders isn't something innately in them, that they have the ability to eat a variety of things. The problem is in giving into these demands versus teaching them about foods and flavors.
It was also very interesting to see how another culture views working mothers (stay-at-home mothers are pretty rare in France), daycare (a scary word here, but government subsidized and awesome in Paris), maintaining the marriage relationship between spouses, child autonomy (they feel that children need to have freedom and space, even infants, and not suffocating parents following them around the playground narrating their every move), and discipline.
There are some things I didn't completely agree with (she notes that the French aren't very pro breast-feeding and that they limit praising their children — which also made sense to a point ... but it's too much to cover in a parenthetical statement), but overall it has made me think about the kind of person I want to raise and has given me some helpful insight on how to navigate that path.
I would definitely recommend it, in part because I really loved it and in part because I know Scott would love for me to have someone else to talk to about it. He's heard enough about French parenting philosophies to last him a lifetime.
No comments:
Post a Comment