Mom at work

Last week was my first week back to work since having Preston. While I love my job, I had been dreading July 23 since May. I enjoyed the lazy little routine we had gotten into — our morning naps during Kathie Lee and Hoda, folding clothes while singing children's church songs, and all the cuddling, cooing, slobbering and smiling that comes with a baby. We had a good thing going, and I miss being able to be with him all day.

My first day back, everyone was so sweet, sending me texts and Facebook messages, bringing me little gifts and words of encouragement. They were all a great comfort to me. But during that first week, there was one thing that changed my whole perspective.

Coming back was something I struggled with. It broke my heart that I wasn't going to be the one to take care of him. And then one of Preston's sitters sent me a picture of him that said, "Thanks for working hard for us, Mommy!"

As strange as it sounds, that was something I hadn't realized. I was back at work for him. I was going to work to help support our family, not because some mean, outside force was dragging me away from my baby. At this time, for this season of my life, this is the best way I can take care of him. And that changed my entire attitude on going back to work.

Do I still miss him during the day? Painfully so. But I know that when Preston reaches a time in his life when he needs me at home, God will provide that means. For now, I find comfort in the fact that this is how I can take care of him — and squeeze in as many drooly kisses as I can in between.