Surviving March Madness

Sweaty palms. Blank stares. Fits of rage followed by fits of elation. Constant scribbling on little mapped out lines.

Yes, your spouse is suffering from March Madness. I'm sorry; there seems to be no cure.

I like basketball as much as the next person. Take me to a game, and I'm a happy girl. I'll even sit and watch it on the couch from time to time, but there's something about being taken hostage by the sounds of whistles blowing and those annoying squeaking tennis shoes for three weeks that I just can't handle. (I hear the sound of those shoes squeaking in my nightmares!)

My first Match Madness with Scott was in our apartment. We had one little TV and not much room to escape basketball without just sitting in the bathroom, which is weird to do for several hours on end. I quickly learned that if my living room is going to be a basketball zone for a few weeks that I needed to stock up on the essentials to keep my sanity and my husband happy.

So, here are my recommendations to all the basketball refugees out there.

1. Find a good book: That's my plan of attack this year. I strolled over to the library a couple of weeks ago and picked up The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I put off reading it until now, though, so I'd have plenty to tackle when basketball started up. The book was a good pick as I find myself actually wanting basketball to come on so that I can get back to it.

2. Go on a magazine binge: I start my "magazine fast" in late February, pilling up all the publications I get on the coffee table like a squirrel gathers acorns for the long winter. That way, when tip off hits, I've got a wide array of periodicals to peruse. (You can also take up forced alliteration to entertain yourself during the month.)

3. There's an app for that: I make sure my iPod touch is fully charged and ready to go. In addition to Tweeting "Ugh! More basketball #marchmadness #actualmadness" from the comfort of my own couch, I also have plenty of games at my disposal. Some of my favorites are Monopoly, Jenga, Qrank, Words With Friends, and Angry Birds. You can also learn a new language with MindSnacks. I've got the French version. I haven't passed the number level yet, but I know "zèro" is zero. Progress!

4. Play along: I'll admit. I fill out a bracket, too. It makes watching a game more fun because then you actually have something invested in the outcome. Plus, there are always a bunch of heartbreaking stories of perseverance and determination, and I like to cry when I watch sports, so that's a win for me.

And remember, Monday through Wednesday are basketball-free days. Soak them up as best you can. I make Scott watch "Glee" with me. All's fair in love and basketball.