For most of my scholastic life, grades weren't that big of a deal. Yes, I wanted to do well, but doing well at all costs wasn't my thing. The majority of my time grounded in high school was grades-related because my parents knew I could do much better if I just applied myself. But that took a lot of work and watching TV is much easier.
In college, social club fun, late nights watching random YouTube videos, and hanging out with Scott trumped studying until Scott made me shape up. He helped me focus more and do better my last two years in school. Once we got married, my GPA looked a lot better too.
Now that I'm in grad school though, my mindset has been a little different. Seeing Courtney and Scott with their fancy-shamcy honors cords and symbols by their names made me want to do better. Plus, I like to think I'm older and therefore wiser and would apply myself better than 17-year-old me did.
It was this overwhelming need to make an A in everything that crippled me. I was staring at my blinking cursor getting ready to write my first grad school assignment, and I couldn't do it. I was afraid of failing before I'd even started.
Now that I have a little reassurance that I can do it, I hope that the next 11 classes don't intimidate me so badly. And, whether or not I end it all with a 4.0, I'll know I tried my hardest. (Insert the "The More You Know" rainbow.)
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